This is an exact copy of my Xmas list email i sent to both my parents.

HOME DECOR & APPLIANCES

Damask Wall Paper: http://designerwallcoverings.com/WallpaperStore/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=384

(i need 3 sheets to do my whole chair rail)

Decorative Wall Mounted Armor   http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102981354&c=

Suit Of Armor http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102719324&c=   or mini suit of armor: http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102763431&c=69753851&v=

Decorative Phone http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=13206252&c=

SIDE Cabnet thingie (i could put my tv on this.. i want to get rid of the ikea stuff) http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=69754612&c=

Mid Evil Chair http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=69754556&c=

Book Case http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102763436&c=

Throne chair http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102763433&c=10464&v=

HP Mirror: http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=69667339&c=69781301

HP CrystalBall http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102473433&c=69781301

Decorative Harry Potter Cup thingie http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=69753890&c=69781301

Decorative Griffindoor Sword http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102525227&c=69781301

A Juke Box  http://www.realjukeboxesdirect.com/

Talking Fall Out Boy Plush Dolls

A Mini Fridge

Sirius XM Radio Life Time Subscription

A Hummer H2

Hidden Cameras: http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102827767&c=10250

SKATEBOARDING EQUIPTMENT

COMPLETE SKATEBOARD:

DECK: Element Bam "Bampire" deck (if not then the Bam Animalism II DECK)

TRUCKS: Silver Rob Dyrdek Trucks

BEARINGS: Bones Ceramics... (if not then Speed Metal Wrecking Balls or Bones Swiss)

WHEELS: Element Wheels 52mm or smaller 

GRIP: Bam bat grip (like what I had on the Three Beast Series board)

(all items can be found on CCS.com or Store.BamMargera.com)

a grip tape file

vintage Bam decks for my wall.. please run these by me before bidding on anything on ebay, because they can be fakes(i of corse can identify a fake easily).

ELECTRONICS/DVDS/VIDEO GAMES

30 GIG itouch or an iPhone

A Google G Phone (the newest one) or a SideKick LX

iHome iPod dock w/ speakers

Tony Hawk's Ride for PS3

Skate 2 for PS3

Skate IT for PS3

"Interview With A Vampire" on DVD

"Almost Famous" on DVD

"CKY: Landspeed" on DVD

"CKY2k" on DVD (DO NOT BUY THE REMIX VERSION)

"Love Metal Archives Vol. 1" DVD

"Jackass Lost Tapes" dvd (and while you're at it.. I'd like the Boxset and the movies again)

Buffy The Vampire Slayer(tv show)on dvd

"(500) Days Of Summer" dvd

"Minghags" dvd

"Fantasy Factory Season 1" dvd

"Gossip Girl Season 2" dvd

a video camera

studio time

MAKEUP & BEAUTY:

I want more of the Kat Von D Sephora Makeup.. I'd Like:

The Ludwig Eye Shadow Palette

The Beetoven Eye Shadow Palette

The Metal Orchestra Palette

The True Love Palette (like what I have now)

The Lip Stick 3 Pack(like what i have now)

The Lip Gloss 4 Pack (like what I have now)

More Trooper & Skater colored Tattoo Liners

Bam, Party Animal, and Marge Lip Gloss

Backstage Bambi, Underaged Red, Rosary, and Misfit lip stick

The make up brush set

Perfume.. either Britney Spears Fantasy or Kat Von D Sinner

Hair extensions

CLOTHES

note I take a SMALL in all tops/hoodies.. men's shoes: size 8 womens 9.5... pants it depends on the brand,but usually a 4.

FROM ELEMENT

Shasta Dress

Parisian Skirt

Tuberose Skirt in grey w/ black splotches

Heartless Jeans

Brigitte Jeans

Universal Pants

Nolita Pants

Harp Pants

Britstol Pants

Everly Shorts

Toby Shorts

Composer Shorts

Benita button up shirt

Lola Button up shirt

Bahamas button up shirt

Rachel shirt

Portofino 2 shirt in both color ways(really cute)

Amelia Sweater

Santorini sweater

Lizette hoodie

Crossroads shirt (in blue and purple)

Deseo shirt

Fiaco shirt

Tart hat

Margaret hat

Tulah hat

Madgestry hat

Kelso hat

Dempsy purse

All can be found on ElementSkateboards.com

ROXY:

Rosilyn Destroy Jeans

Whitney Jeans

Sunrise Surf Beach Pant

Salsa Lesson Yoga PAnts

A List Tanktop

Magdalena Top

I Heart Sports top

Sunshine top

Hipster shorts

Hot Competition fitted shorts

Hot Issue Dress in black

Hippie Cover Up Dress

Signature Burn Out tee

Beach Party Sweater

Free Fall Beanie

So There beanie

Our Nature Tote Bag

all of which can be found on Roxy.com

DC:

Womans Bali Sweat Pants

Dots tee

Since Tee

Cancun Dress

Lois Shorts

Aurther Shorts

Spooky Shorts

Jacob Skirt

Pioneer Camisol

Survivor Tank

Silence Tank

DC Areotech sneakers

Rob Dyrdek Collection RD1 MID Shoes (i like both color ways.. the blue & white are really pretty though)

Rob Dyrdek Collection Take Six Hoodie

Rob Dyrdek Collection Cache Hoodie

mens smith 2.0 skate shoes in black

mens pure plaza skate shoe in black

mens core skate fitz shoe

mens park wc skate shoe

mens match skate shoe

womans Manteca 2 Mid SE black/purple

womanses chase shoe

all of which can be found on store.dcshoes.com

MISC

Lady Gaga tickets for Radio City

It's been a while since I've blogged..I've been busy... College is hectic.. RSB is hectic.. Party Planning is coming along(two months), and thankfully I don't start on the schedule for my seasonal job at Urban Outfitters until next week.

This past Saturday was so jammed packed.. I went to a GRO (GirlsRiders.org) clinic out in Union Hills, it was really fun and i learned some really basic stuff that I'd never learned during my 5 years of skate(::cough learning how to fall in knee pads cough::).. I really suggest, if you've ever wanted to try skateboarding seeing when GRO will be in your area, their clinics are totally free(they operate on donations) and they even provide boards, helmets, and pads for you to borrow during the clinic.  Silly from Silly Girl Designs (a girl oriented skate company) was there too, she's a really genuinely nice person who loves the sport.
After the GRO clinic, most of us headed over to The Battle For El Mirage skate competition at the brand new Skate Plaza(the first one in Arizona... btw Skate Plaza's, which i think is a term rob dyrdek coined, are skate parks for strictly street skating. no vert) out in El Mirage(El Mirage is so fricken far from Scottsdale.. I'd never even been out there before)... It was really fun.. A girl i know named Natalie came in first place.
Then saturday night I went and interviewed Oderus Urungus and photographed Gwar...I thought I would be able to avoid being sprayed with the alien blood and gook.. But noo.. When I was up there with my photo pass i took a direct hit. blah.

Sunday morning I spent 4 hours doing orientation and training at Urban.. I was so tired I ended up sleeping all afternoon.

Yesterday I spent a good portion of the day at the skate park.. I also did today. After learning how to fall in knee pads and not hurt yourself on vert  ramps, I'm over my fear of heights with skating.. Like in the past I'll drop in, but nothing higher than 3 feet on concrete..(i've done 6 foot drops, but on skatelite/wood).. But now, I'm dropping in bowls like no big deal.   It's still a little nerve wracking because you're staring down 6 feet into what is made to look like an empty pool, and it seems to effing insane.. but then you just slam your board down and before you know it your at the bottom coming up the other wall kick turning and back.
I've also been more daring on the mini ramps.. I've got tail stalls down.. and i'm working on doing front side 180 ollies off of the coping(in layman's terms getting air off a mini halfpipe).
I must admit though I don't think my new found fearlessness is all due to learning to fall. Last week, prior to that, I skated down the club house(where the fitness center and community pools etc in my gated community are) at like 10 at night and went up on the second story balcony(not unusual for me to do).. and then i got the idea that it would be fun to jump off of it into the pool. so i took off my shoes, climbed over the railing onto a veranda, and i was srsly going to jump off of it into the pool, but then a car drove by.. and i was afraid they'd see.. So i ended up not doing it... but yeah.. i'm going to just blame all this on my watching bam margera dvd's..

I'm going to be moving to New York City!

(picture from google images.... gish it makes me so sad to see the twin towers.. apparently i was there more than once when i was little bc my dad worked there.. the the only time i remember was when my parents took me there after seeing Cirque Du Soleil in Battery Park when I was like 5.... and i remember looking up and not being able to see the top of it because it was so massive.. i remember a toy train in the lobby.. and being in the thingie that connected the two buildings.. i really wish that memory was clearer)  ANYWAYS...My dad is getting a place(he moved back there in May to do engineering consulting on the freedom tower, but he's been living out in NJ) on the Upper West Side by Central Park (one of the nicest parts of NYC)... so i'm going to be going back and forth between Scottsdale and NYC.. though it just dawned on me if I want to go back and forth a lot i'm going to have to fly coach..  My dad will be moving in to his new place(he still hasn't fully decided on which building.. he's got it narrowed to like three places) next month...  But I probably won't come see him until January, because I want to fly in for the Lady Gaga concert at Radio City.. but I won't stay long because i have to be back in AZ for my birthday the first weekend in February...

Which brings me to my party planning.. A little over two months left... I've decided I'm going to do a house at The Sanctuary for sure.. I already sent out Save The Dates to some of the people I'm inviting just to get some estimates on how many people are coming... I'm still torn between two houses, because the one has a better view and Britney Spears, Tommy Lee and BEP have stayed in it.. BUT the other is a lot bigger(6 bedrooms), has a jacuzzi(they both have private pools), a private tennis court(to skate on), and a much better backyard in general.. plus it's not as high up the mountain, so less chances of anyone falling down a ravine(the britney house is the highest house on the Paradise Valley side of Camelback Mtn).....I'm pretty much like 80% sure I'm having Vains Of Jenna play at the party(their booking agent just needs to go over prices and make sure they're avail that weekend), though I'm still looking into other bands.  I'm also looking into psychic readers(they all seem to have the same hourly rate... so it's more picking who seems like they'd be more fun), and karaoke rentals and maybe like henna tattoos.... should be fun.  I still haven't picked a theme.. I don't think i'll set one until I confirm what band is playing.

In other things I need to go X-mas shopping and get Diana a birthday present....... For Xmas I'm getting my parents & grandma Snuggies.. I'll prob get my dad something for his new place at Urban.. I'll prob get my mom a HIM calendar(lol she likes them almost as much as i do) and these wool slipper things they always have at Urban around x-mas which i usually buy her a pair each year and then 50 or Benji manages to chew them to shreds... and then I'll prob get my grandma something for her dog........  I won't post on here what I'm getting Diana as she is a buzznet user.. LOL i was going to get her a Cradle Of Filth "Guilded Cunt" t-shirt(lol one of my favorite memories from 2007.. and no neither of us is into COF) but they're only sold on UK sites. :*(   

XOXO,

          Samantha

Why do i feel like this? why do i feel so incomplete.... why do i feel like letting go.. and meeting eternal sleep? why do i feel like i have no hope. or something to believe. nothing brings me joy.  love doesnt want me. no one wants me. i don't want me. i have no idea who i am. as everything i do is to try to be like someone else. or fit to something someone else wants.  or to make other people like me.  i cant do anything for me. unless i end this endlessly.

The Gallery at The Sanctuary... another private house at the Sanctuary resort... this house has 4 bedrooms and a pool... it's also up in the mountain, though not nearly as high up as the other.. I'm not sure who has stayed here.. but i really like the mod theme.




Pros & Cons:
Night Club - Pros: it's a big space... the band can play as loud as they want. Cons: I'd only have it from 7 to Midnight..
Private Houses- Pros: Theres a 2 night minimum.. So my pAArty could last an entire weekend.  Pool party one night, rock show the next.. And I could put floating candles in the pool.. not to mention you get full usage of the hotel, room service, amazing city view, etc.   Cons: The band would have to play acoustic because there is a noise ordinance in Paradise Valley.

So where would you have it? 

any ideas or suggestions? 

my birthday isn't for 106 days.. but it's better to plan ahead... plus reserving night clubs and metalish bands, is best done several months in advance..

My skate comp over the weekend went great.. I had fun competing against and getting to skate with other girls for once.  There was so much girl power there.. haha.. And honestly the girls division totally pwned the 11-13, 6-10 male, and male masters divisions (i left after our division was over, because it was too hot out... 100º in october).

I kind of took a mellow day on Sunday, though I did check out the new Barney's NYC store that opened here last week (major let down) and ate at Fred's (the restaurant inside Barneys... which was very meh).. and then yesterday I went shopping(got tons of cute stuff).  Today I pretty much slept the whole day and then when skating for a bit tonight..

I've decided not to go to CKY's Halloween show in West Chester.  I'm hella bummed.. and now i've been hit with the dilemma of what to do for Halloween.  The only 18+ night club party, is a "pimp's and hoes" ball (um yeah so not my scene)... I might go to 944's Halloween Party at the Princess Hotel in NoSco, but 944 parties are kind of meh except for the fact they usually have good performers(like 50 Cent at the 944 Super Bowl thing); but i don't think they have anyone preforming for Halloween as the tickets are only like $200 & you get a hotel room w/ that. The hotel party I really want to go to is the Haunted Hotel at the Valley Ho, but it's a 21+ party. 

Aside from not knowing what to go to.. i'm not sure how i should do my makeup..  I was just googling Vampire Makeup.. here are some possibilities..

high fashion zombie style....

dark & dead

red lipped..

suggestions?!?!? i'm going makeup shopping on friday...


so tell me.. What are you all going as for Halloween? 

xoxo,

       Samantha..


 

Finger Prints By Katy Perry

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"it's my life and i'm sitting on the sidelines watching it pass me by...."

"Most Girls "By Pink

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"But Im not every girl, And I dont need that world to validate me"
 

"Live Your Life" by Rihanna & T.I.

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"So keep on getting your paper, And keep on climbin,  Look In The Mirror, And Keep On Shining"
 

"The Taste Of Ink" by The Used (this song means so much to me as it and it's music video are so close to how my teens have been)

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"It's four o' clock in the fucking morning"

"Touch The Sky" By Kanye

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"Til the day I die, Imma touch the sky..."

Xoxo,

Rockstar Samantha

I'm laying here in bed feeling a bit stressed out.  I'm interviewing/photographing Lacuna Coil and QuietDrive tomorrow, at TWO DIFFERENT CONCERTS!! I'm going to be going back and forth... I'm hoping I'll have a chance to check out The Higher(i love them!) and All That Remains( not a fan but i do have one of their cd's.. but i only bought it because it's the one that Matt played on before he left atr for cky) as well tomorrow.. But probably not depending on what times Lacuna and QD play, plus the re-entry policies(usually a press pass gives you the right to come and go).
I still have to finish writing up questions.. So let me know if you want me to ask Lacuna Coil or QuietDrive anything!!! You can always AIM your questions to me at ICriedNLuvSaidNo ... 

Today I pretty much relaxed.  Though i've been hit with a dilemma, in the fact that Shawna can't go to WC with me, so I don't know what I'm going to do about my scheduled interview with CKY on the 30th.  I really don't want to have to cancel.  AHH.. I have so many interviews/photo passes scheduled, aside from tomorrow.. I've got Anarbor and Stray Light Run on the 24th, CKY on the 30th,  Drive A on Nov 9th, From First To Last on Nov 10th, and Gwar Nov 14th!  Send me questions!!!

I'm really bummed out.. I just saw Lady Gaga's tour date listing on FaceBook, she'd not playing phoenix! I might just have to go to her Los Angeles or NYC shows instead.   

OH BIG NEWS!!!!  RockstarBaby.net and WeDontBuyYourMerch.com are merging.  It will now be RockstarBaby.net: We Don't Buy Your Merch... Kayla (the owner of WDBYM) and I agreed RSB's URL should be kept as the main one, as it's been around longer.  It's going to be more of a Online Magazine format.  All of the videos in the Youtube Channel are being re-edited, and the web site's new layout is going to be amazing.   The full relaunch should be at the end of the month.

Moving on... I'm still really nervous for my skate competition on saturday.  I'll probably film my run and stuff for one of my little projects I'm working on.

If I have to cancel my one out of state interview.... I am srsly going on a huge spending spree at the brand new Barney's New York store thats opening here in Scottsdale this week.  I've really not bought much clothing this year.. It's time to splurge...

Hrrmm what else is going in my life right now...  My 20th birthday isn't until February, BUT I'm already planning the party.  I'm looking into local night clubs to rent, and I've already started looking into booking a band to play the party.. I'm thinking a "death(metal) to my teens" theme. haha.

XOXO,
you know you love me.. Rockstar Samantha

ps: pick me out a new temporary user name thingie to replace Viva La Sam(antha)

pps: my subject line means "good evening" in Finnish.

We also have been confirmed to interview Stray Light Run (oct 24th), CKY (oct 30th), Drive A (nov 9th), From First To Last (nov 10th), and Gwar (Nov 14th)...

Btw RSB is in talks to of doing a merger with another popular Arizona based band interview web site..